I remember that when I travelled about alone in exotic places – hasn’t happened for a while – but when I did, I thought I would blend in nicely with the locals by purchasing something from the local supermarket so I would then have the shop’s plastic bag on my arm. Local, me. Been in the hood for years. I know it meant nothing but it was helpful armour and encouraged me to buy nice soaps with nice packaging.

Now, I realise that the best way of looking like a local, especially in hot places is to always aim for the shade. Always and at whatever cost. Of course you wouldn’t dream of stepping outside of the house between 11 and 3 like those vitamin d deprived foreigners. But when you do, always look 15 metres ahead to create your route by jumping between shards of light and dodging skin sizzle.